A ChiTonga proverb

"Nziniini ikukkala njiikuyanda," translated as, "The fly that sits on you likes you."

Actually we can take that further by translating the proverb word by word as follows. The fly that sits repeatedly on you likes you. 

Before we talk about how they use the proverb let us review what the proverb is saying. Flies are a nuisance especially in the dry warm tropical climate. They are all over you, throwing themselves in your food and sitting on exposed surfaces. They want to sit on your face, on the skin and especially they like to sit on the mouth where they can pick food particles.

Babies and young children suffer greatly when large numbers of flies sit on their mouths or uncovered stomachs. In the village, flies like to follow people wherever they go. Proper hygiene and appropriate perfumes can send them off in other directions.

No one likes flies hanging around at all. They are always a nuisance and hated to death by squashing. However, due to sheer numbers flies are often tolerated and waved off with one's hand. Ironically it is these creatures that this proverb speaks of liking people. If a fly repeatedly comes back after you wave it off with your hand or after missing it in an attempt to squash it, then the proverb says it really likes you.

Here is how the Tonga people use this proverb. If a person hangs around you there comes a point when people notice. They notice that it is no longer simply a matter of following you. They conclude that he loves you. In essence the proverb is saying, the person who comes often to be with you loves you... no, he or she is in love with you! That is especially true when a man and woman are involved.

I may be slightly exaggerating the idea of being in love here. However, the proverb intends to intentionally communicate the meaning that this is not merely 'liking' another person, it is a little more of being 'in love with' than merely liking him or her.

There are times when the proverb is used for a situation where people cannot possibly be 'in love', but where adoration is invoked. People can stick around those they adore.

The other time I was in the village for a wedding. A kid was fascinated by my outfit and by the story that I came from America. He followed me wherever I went. He gave me a new name and insisted on sitting next to me wherever I sat. I acknowledged him and gave him the space he needed to be himself and to explore his fascination.

A cousin came along and said to me with a hint of a smile on his face, "Nziniini!"

I smiled back and went my way knowing exactly what he just said. He said, the boy likes you very much. I said, Yes, and moved on without saying as much as one spoken word between us.

Proverbs make village life very interesting. Proverbs and body language often go hand in hand. 

It also makes it challenging if you did not grow up in the village where proverbs are often used. I am often unable to understand the meanings of some proverbs. People use different proverbs in different parts of Tonga country. Some however are common enough to be understood by most people across the four or five dialects of ChiTonga.

There is a whole language of proverbs by which people who appear to be illiterate brilliantly communicate with each other in truths a stranger might never know.

Next time a Tonga says Nziniini, remember it is not about the dirty old fly! It is about precious love. Smile!